I see it almost every day on social media. If you are a homeschooling parent then I’m sure you have seen it just as much as I have. It probably gets under your skin just as much as it does mine because you realize how completely ignorant and hateful it is.
“Every homeschooled kid I’ve ever known was weird and awkward.”
There’s also this gem:
“What about socialization?”
We’ve all heard it. We’ve all read it. Deep down we’ve all wanted to break it down to the homeschool haters and give them a reality check.
Some of us have tirelessly tried to reason with them. Others either want to avoid the conflict altogether or just can’t seem to find the right words to express their thoughts.
I myself have been sitting on this post for months trying to phrase it in exactly the right way to truly express what I feel when I hear people say these things. Today I finally found the right words.
Fitting the Mold
I went to public school my entire school life. Kindergarten to high school graduation. I can’t even tell you how many kids I went to school with who others considered to be “weird” or “awkward”.
Honestly, as I look back, most these so-called “weirdo’s” were actually some of the happiest kids I knew. They were so comfortable in their own skin and truly enjoyed immersing themselves in their hobbies.
You know how it goes though, since the self-proclaimed “cool kids” thought they were too good and above everything, then that must be the law of the hallways.
Tweet ThisWhat’s the point I’m trying to make here? Public school kids are just as capable of being “weird” and “awkward” as homeschool kids.
Period.
Hypocritical Society
Here’s the real issue at hand though. These days you hear so many people encouraging individuality.
Phrases like “Be Yourself” and “Don’t worry about what other’s think of you” can be heard or read online every single day. But really what people are saying is “Be Yourself” as long as it fits inside the box of what society has deemed as “normal”.
If you dare try to break the mold and think outside the box, you’re ridiculed for not fitting in. This is why bullying is such a problem.
You just can’t win.
Every homeschooled kid (and public school kid!) you’ve ever known probably didn’t care if they “fit the mold”. They were probably too busy focusing on their individuality.
Just because these kids are interested in things that the rest of society doesn’t consider “normal” doesn’t make them weird. Just because someone likes something that you do not like doesn’t make you more “normal” than they are.
The Great Socialization Debate
Homeschooled kids are actually pretty social for the most part. In fact, they may even be more social in some aspects than those who go to public school.
Homeschooled kids learn how to interact with adults every single day, and other kids who are all different ages. They aren’t just sitting in a boxed up room with 20+ other kids the same age all day every day.
These kids are getting a variety of interactions with people of all ages almost on a regular basis. When they grow up and have to “enter the real world” homeschooled kids will already be able to interact with people of all ages.
Why?
Because they’ve been raised in the real world, getting a real world education.
If you’ve ever interacted with a homeschooled kid (or again, a public schooled kid) who didn’t look you in the eye or talk to you, that doesn’t mean they don’t know how to socialize or that they haven’t had enough human interaction with the outside world.
Maybe it means they just don’t want to talk to you. Or, maybe it’s possible that you make them feel uncomfortable.
Or maybe, just maybe, they’re shy. Last time I checked, being shy wasn’t a bad thing.
Better yet, maybe they already know you’re going to judge them for the things they enjoy or want to talk about.
Why should they have to waste their energy on your negativity? Do you waste your energy on hateful and negative people as an adult?
It All Comes Down to This
If you are one of those claiming that homeschooled kids are weird or unsocialized, or if you’re telling your spouse or friends that you won’t dare homeschool your kids because you’re afraid they’re going to turn out to be awkward, then you are part of the bullying problem in this world.
You are crushing individuality by assuming that all people and children should meet your specific requirements of what it takes to be “normal”.
Since when were you crowned as the all knowing being who determines what is cool or acceptable in society? Since when are you today’s ultimate trendsetter?
My advice to you is this: Get over yourself, and quick picking on homeschooled kids and their parents.
You are no more normal than the quiet kid hanging out in the shadows. You have absolutely no say in what is “cool”, “normal”, or “acceptable” behavior in this world.
Quit being a bully to the homeschooling community, and in society in general.
This post is part of the iHomeschool Network Link-Up: Things No One Tells You About Homeschooling. Click on the image below to see the other posts included in this link up (Beginning March 28, 2016)!
What do you think about this article? Would you agree or disagree with my thoughts?
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Jen says
February 17, 2016 at 9:07 am“My advice to you is this: Get over yourself, and quick picking on homeschooled kids and their parents.” This!! Love this!
I’ve done public school, correspondence, homeschool. Everyone that doesn’t fit the mold is considered weird. People really need to letitgo!
Jen recently posted…What’s for Dinner? Kitchen Superstar: The Slow Cooker
Jeanetta Roberts says
February 17, 2016 at 11:05 amThank you! And yes I’m so sick of the standards of society trying to tell me if I’m weird or normal.
Shell says
February 23, 2017 at 4:44 pmOmgosh Thank you Jenn!!
I am just starting our homeschool adventure with my almost 4 year old…And have a family that thinks my husband and I have lost our minds (to say it nicer then we have heard it).
Reading this put my thoughts into words others can read!
Great article!
Jeanetta Roberts says
February 24, 2017 at 6:04 pmThanks for your sweet comment. I’m happy this article resonated with you! Good luck with your homeschool adventure. 🙂
Ashley says
February 21, 2016 at 8:42 pmWe just started homeschooling my daughter this school year, and I want my kids to be “weird”, something I tell them all the time, I want them to be them and unique. I love that no one else is going to influence their style or behaviors as often happens in public school.
Ashley recently posted…Making Rain in a Jar Science
Jeanetta Roberts says
February 21, 2016 at 10:23 pmExactly! I don’t want my kids following society standards! I couldn’t agree with you more!
Christine says
February 22, 2016 at 5:41 pmI really found this post interesting! Thanks for linking up to Meetup Monday!
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Jeanetta Roberts says
February 23, 2016 at 2:37 amThanks for stopping by!
Stephanie says
February 22, 2016 at 9:20 pmI’ve heard, but never experienced really with my kids, that home schooled kids are more likely aware of how to interact with adults a lot better than kids who went to public/private school. This one topic is a sore spot for me, I too dislike when people ask if my kids are going to be socialized..uh yeah…they have friends that either a.) are home schooled too or b.) they go to school in a regular school setting. They have play dates/get together’s with other kids.
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Jeanetta Roberts says
February 23, 2016 at 2:37 amI believe it’s true and I’ve witnessed it with my own kids!
Nikki Frank-Hamilton says
February 23, 2016 at 1:14 pmI agree, any kid can have socialization issues, whether they are in school or at home. Hopefully their parents realize their issues and get them help. Both my kids have social anxiety and they suffer greatly. They would be the coolest weird kids no matter where they got their learning! LOL Wouldn’t you love it if this stopped being the issue?
Nikki Frank-Hamilton recently posted…Choose light. Choose Love. Lots of Love.
Jeanetta Roberts says
February 23, 2016 at 1:15 pmI hear ya Nikki! Here’s to the cool weird kids! Haha!
Mother of 3 says
February 23, 2016 at 4:20 pmYes, yes yes! Be yourself as long as you’re not too weird; that’s basically what everyone is saying. We’ll let you be individual as long as you fit in with us… sad but true.
Mother of 3 recently posted…Dealing With Attitudes
CJ Huang | Morsels of Life says
February 26, 2016 at 10:52 amI definitely agree all kids can be “weird” – not just homeschool or public school or private school or whatever. However, I do think exposing kids to a wider range of people is beneficial, whether that be done in homeschool or after school or any other method. The sooner we all learn everyone’s different and different isn’t always bad, the better off we’d all be. 🙂
CJ Huang | Morsels of Life recently posted…Curry Chicken
Jeanetta Roberts says
February 26, 2016 at 11:30 amAmen to that! I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for stopping by!!
Mandy says
March 3, 2016 at 9:09 amYES!! This 100 times!! I have thought this so many times! Awkward exists in public school, too! I like how people conveniently forget the awkward kids they made fun of in their public school.
You know what encourages me most, though? I’ve had quite a few people come up to me (pretty much strangers) who have worked with my daughter in nursery at church & tell me what a neat & mature 12 year old I have! It happens all the time. It’s awesome!
Candace Wells says
March 4, 2016 at 1:00 pmI think this is a great article. People often have opinion about subjects they haven’t taken the time to research. They often cast judgment about home-school children not being social and being awkward.
I was a public school child and I was very awkward and I wanted to hide because for some reason I wasn’t social.
If a homeschool student is shy or doesn’t make friends easily; it is not a failure of homeschooling but possibly the child’s personality or insecurities.
Candace Wells recently posted…Reason to Homeschool: Build a Strong Moral Foundation
Amira says
February 3, 2017 at 5:13 pmagree!!,
Jen says
March 7, 2016 at 6:38 amThis post is so good I clicked on it again, in the homeschool link up! lol Thanks Jenn for writing it, I love how it is written. I shared again because seriously we need this post!
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Jeanetta Roberts says
March 7, 2016 at 12:09 pmI’m so glad you love it! Thank you so much for stopping by and for sharing it!!
Marisa says
March 13, 2016 at 10:08 pmLoved this right here: “They are getting a variety of interactions with people of all ages almost on a regular basis, so when they grow up and have to “enter the real world” they know how to handle it, and they know how to handle people, because they’ve been raised in the real world.” Exactly!! Honestly, I don’t want the type of socialization my kids will get from their public school peers. They have plenty of interaction with other children the same ages at church and other activities during the week, so I’m not worried. 🙂
Jeanetta Roberts says
March 14, 2016 at 12:27 amExactly! I feel the same way
Jordan says
April 6, 2016 at 12:17 pmI can’t love this enough. I do wonder how you’d respond to concerns of having friends, as that is the current fear my significant other is having for our daughters.
Jeanetta Roberts says
April 6, 2016 at 4:01 pmThank you! I always ask the nay-sayers “How many of your childhood friends and high school friends do you actually still hang with on a regular basis and still consider yourself to be super close with?” Usually that shuts them up because 9/10 times, most people hang out with friends they met through work or college as adults. Also, I do feel the parents have a responsibility to make sure the kids have interraction with kids their own age as often as possible – that’s where its great to be involved in homeschool groups or extra curricular activities. My girls do American Heritage Girls, and 4H. Others are active with their church or play on sports teams. Or of course they run around with the neighborhood kids after school is over. 🙂
Heather says
May 11, 2016 at 8:51 pmI’ve been homeschooling now for 16+ years. The naysayers pretty much leave me alone bc, well … some of my weird, unsocialized kids who would never cut it academically are in college now, making a difference in their chosen paths, and living out loud for Jesus. Say what you want– the proof is in the pudding. My kids may not look like the world’s … but they look pretty darn good! 😉
Heather recently posted…I am not a teacher
Jeanetta Roberts says
May 12, 2016 at 12:26 pmThat is awesome!! I hope that someday I will be able to say the same about my girls (the college part)
Latisha says
June 3, 2016 at 5:37 pmI absolutely love this post. I couldn’t have said it any better. So many quotes worth repeating. Thanks for the encouragement, as I am going to be returning to homeschooling in the new school year.
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Angelica says
May 24, 2017 at 4:52 amOops
“My advice to you is this: Get over yourself, and quick picking on homeschooled kids and their parents.”